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"If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong."

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research."

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"Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up."

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."

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"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."

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“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.”

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” - Abraham Lincoln